Weekend Project

A couple of weeks ago I got it into my head to build a container box for some herbs we had started in the house. So off to Lowe's I went. 3 Pieces of whatever size that wood on the side there is and one piece of flat plywood for the bottom later and this is what we ended up with.

Now, if you know me, then you know I'm not going to do just some boring project and have something plain sitting out in my yard. So I decided that everyone needed to participate and dragged out my supply of paints, gave everyone a piece of wood and said paint whatever you want. This is the results.

This is Kaitlyn's side. It is a depiction of "Kaitlantis," a world that she came up with while playing a game with Isabella.

This is Stephanie' side. She feels she lacks artistic ability to just draw and paint something random so she stuck with geometric shapes. She loves shapes, shapes make her happy lol. I think it shows a great creative mind and artistic ability.

Here is Isabella's side. She was on a pet kick at the time so she decided to put a puppy and a kitty on there and lots of stripes.

This is my side. I painted what makes me happy, the beach at sunset. Considering my artistic skills are rather limited, I think it came out pretty good.

Jason didn't want to help paint but he did help actually put the box together and move it outside. It has holes drilled in the bottom of it but the tires were his idea to help it drain better. I think it was a great idea, makes it a little easier to get to and will for sure help with drainage. Besides, we had the tires out there, might as well use them for something. We planted our herbs in it, now we're waiting to see if they are going to survive. Some are doing well so far, others, well there's always next year!

I am tired

Lately I have been tired. Not just a little tired but exhausted, deliriously tired.

I had a sleep study done almost a year ago and got a CPAP machine to keep me breathing while I sleep. Last December I met with my sleep doc for a follow up and he felt the mask I was using with my CPAP was not working well enough for me and suggested I get a different kind. So, of course I did.

OMG that thing was like waterboarding and I hated it. Because doc said to, I tried and tried to use it. No matter what I did, I could not keep it on all night. I would take it off without even waking up to do it. I was sleeping like crap.

We all know what happens when you don't sleep we'll for a couple of days, right? Well turn that into a couple of months. I could hardly get out of bed in the mornings. I stopped going to the gym, I was just too tired. I fell asleep in the car, not by choice like I usually do. (don't worry, not while driving) I was falling asleep at my desk while trying to work. Basically if I was not moving, I was sleeping. My work was suffering. My family suffered. My house suffered. My brain felt like I was in a constant fog. I would forget what I was doing in the middle of doing it. Forget what I was saying. I am honestly surprised I could function at all.

Well after another trip to the good doctor, I am back to using my original mask and sleeping much better at night. He also gave me some meds to take on days I might not have slept too well and am falling asleep all day.

So far, I am doing so much better! I feel better. I am more active. I want to go work out. I want to be busy doing something all the time.

Now if I could get the weird ass dreams to stop so I can really sleep, all will be great. I don't just dream little happy go lucky peaceful wake up and they are forgotten dreams. Nothing so normal for me. I dream in full on 3D living color with theater surround sound. I live and breathe my dreams. I am an active participant and can most of the time control them, change them and determine the outcome, change things I don't like. I experience them. I feel them. I used to act them out.

Image

As you can imagine this does not lead to a very restful night even with the CPAP. It actually seems like the CPAP makes the dreaming worse. Instead of waking myself up and interrupting the dreams, I am staying asleep and continuing to dream. It is exhausting. That is where the new meds come in and help.

Anyway. I wanted to post and let my readers (all 5 of you lol) know why I haven't been posting lately. Hopefully I can get back in the blog saddle now and post more.

It is getting late so I'm going to bed. Because, well, I'm tired. Good night

Successful Weekend

I am glad to call this past weekend a roaring success. Friday night Zero and I picked up the twins after work and went grocery shopping that should have been done a week before. We spent less than our budget allowed and got to spend some time with the twins because Steph went out with a friend.

Saturday morning I got up and went to meet Jen at the Gym. Yes you read that right. I intentionally got up early and went to the gym. Man it was tempting to cancel. I had so many good excuses and thought of many many more on the way there. I tried to convince Steph to go with me to push me more but she wasn't quite down with getting up early on a Saturday. So I met Jen and we walked the treadmill for about 15 minutes, did a round in the Ladies Fitness area (where I actually pushed myself with weight amounts) and then did the elliptical, also known as the machine of death. I try to avoid that particular machine because I am very uncoordinated. But Jen convinced me to at least try it and I did a solid 5 minutes. I have plans to go to the gym again tonight with Zero after work. Think I'll try the elliptical again and see if I can pull out a good 10 minutes.

On my way to the gym, I passed by a local carpet store and noticed they were having a sale. Since we need despirately to redo our bathroom floor I stopped to look around. I found some remenant vinyl that I liked for $40.00 that is big enough to do either my bathroom or kitchen. Both rooms are pretty small. I thought it a good deal for $40.00.

Because it was such a beautiful day, there were TONS of yard sales everywhere. Zero and I decided to grab the kids and go hit a few just to see what they had. In reality, we were both procrastinating getting started on yard work LOL. We had about $60.00 in cash so we went. For less than $50.00 we got Steph a book she wanted, the twins each an adorable new (looked brand new) purse, me a picture frame set that is now filled with beach pictures, a toy for the twins, a digital camera (turned out it didn't work but the battery does and it fits Steph's camera so no loss), a organizing shelf thingy for the twins room, and a couch & chair set for the living room. Ours was horrible and really really really needed replacing. It's not new but it was in good shape. Pretty good haul for $50.00 I think.

Once we got home we of course had to bring in the new furniture, out with the old and rearrange the living room. We ate dinner and then got a wild hair up our butts to go cut grass. We had about an hour left of good daylight so that's what we did. Two lawn mowers and Steph on the hedge trimmer we got out and got most of the front yard cut. Including a section that was really high because it's been too wet to cut. (We have a HUGE yard so we do it in sections.) Afterwards we showered and watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Weird movie.

Sunday wasn't quite as productive. We worked in the back yard a good bit of the day and got about half of it cut, and half of that is a lot. The twins cleaned up in the house and did laundry. The ozone level was high and I did not want them outside. They did a good job inside though so it worked out well.

All in all, a good weekend. Very productive for us. Hopefully will lead into a good week too.

~Toodles

Skirt!

Skirt! is a national women's magazine....."all about women...their work, play, families, creativity, style, health and wealth, bodies and souls....skirt! is an attitude." There is Skirt! National and then there are publications of Skirt! in various cities throughout the country. A vast majority of the content on the websites is submitted by random women from all over, covering all age group. There are blogs, articles, microblogging, etc. They also do monthly features in the magazine: "She's so Skirt!", "He's so Original", and "24/7 with..." where they focus on local women and men and the things they do every day that make them and the world great.

In April my wonderful husband nominated me to be a local Shero and to be featured in June's Skirt! publication. I had my photo taken, answered some quesitons and basically told them how great I am and why I'm so great. I don't really enjoy the spotlight and dont think I do anything all that amazing, wonderful or special but Jason does so I went along with it. If you're interested in seeing the article.....go here.

Orange Beach!

The view from our hotel room at the beautiful Island House Hotel in Orange Beach. I highly recommend it for a family vacation. Every room has a balcony with this excellent view.

First trip to the beach.

Riding the waves. I think they were trying to practice to be surfers.

My little water baby in the hotel pool.

Pool

Got my pictures mixed up when I was uploading this morning, oh well. Look how clear and clean that water is. This is why I think Alabama has the most beautiful beaches in the US!

Dolphin Cruise Pt. 2

Kaitlyn brought her "bo-naculars" so she could be sure to check out and see everything.

Isabella enjoying the view.

Patiently waiting for the boats to load up and head out. Okay some not quite so patient. Kaitlyn was freaking out just a little bit about going out on the water. She loved it at the end though.

Stephanie & Kaitlyn. These kids belong on a boat somewhere!

Dolphin Cruise

We decided to take a dolphin cruise.
We've always wanted to and never have so we decided now is the time.
It was amazing!

Obviously the kids LOVED it!

Specially Ms. Dolphin Queen here.

Beach!

Last weekend as a graduation gift we took the family to Orange Beach Alabama for the weekend. The absolute best beach in the world.

Sunrise. I missed it by a little but still. 6:00 a.m.

Sunset from the dolphin cruise boat.

The girls.



The family.

Graduation Class of 2009

Well, it's official. Our baby is a high school graduate. She graduated last Thursday night and we are so proud of her. Our county does not do valedictorians anymore but instead, all kids with a 4.0 are considered first in their class and get the honor of walking before everyone else, Stephanie marched 6th out of her class of 200 or so. There were only 14 Honor Graduates this year and she was one of them. She received special recognition at graduation and at awards night.

• Honor Graduate - Gold Stole & Metal to wear at graduation. Given for maintaining a 4.0 or higher through all 4 years of high school.
• National Honor Society - White Stole & Metal to wear at graduation.
• Presidential Excellence award - Certificate signed by the President & a pin.
• Greensboro Scholarship given by Birmingham Southern College - $12k per year x 4 years
  
• Excellence in Advanced Placement Anatomy
• Photography Student of the year.
• She also got to paint a brick in her Advanced Placement Calculus class for getting an A.

People keep asking us if we're sad because she's graduating and growing up and all that stuff. Flat out, no we are not sad. We are happy. Not because she's growing up. But because she is growing up into such an outstanding young lady. We are overflowing with joy at her achievements. We are proud of her determination and drive. She sets goals and reaches them. And we are proud of ourselves. She could not have gotten here without good parents behind her. Her growing up does not mean that our job is done. There is still more for her to do, more for her to learn and accomplish. I signed on for life, not just 18 years or until graduation from high school. Not only is graduation her reward for a job well done, it's ours as well.

In September she will be starting her Freshman year at Birmingham Southern College. She is so excited already. We received a class list about a week or so ago and she was just beside herself with the classes she has the opportunity to take. She does not view them as classes she "has to take", instead, she views them as classes she "gets to take."

Congratulations baby!!!! We are so proud of you every day!

A look in the mirror.

I went shopping for clothes recently. I hate clothes shopping. It is worse for me than a root canal. But I needed something nice to wear to graduation so I dragged Stephanie out of bed and made her go with me. After 4 hours we found something pretty that looked okay on me. The biggest problem seemed to be finding a shirt to match the skirt I bought that was not skin tight despite being the correct size. The fashion industry has totally wacked up the sizing charts or something. I went to Target and got a pair of shorts, bought the correct size but did not feel like trying them on. I got home and tried them on, they were 2 sizes too small! I was like wtf.

I took those shorts back a couple of days later and in order to avoid a repeat incident, I tried the replacements on. Somehow in my shopping the Saturday before, I must have managed to not look into a mirror real good because when I looked in the mirror at Target that evening, I was flat out floored. I took a real good hard look at my body and was not happy with what I saw. How did I not realize sooner that I looked this way? When did gravity become such a bitch? How did I let this happen?

Then last weekend we went to the beach. Yes I put my fat ass into a bathing suit. Yes I made myself LOOK at me in that bathing suit. It made me want to vomit, but I wore it anyway. I'm trying to show the little ones it's okay to wear a bathing suit and be comfortable with your own body, even if I am faking it. To make matters worse, Stephanie took some pictures of me in said bathing suit. Ugh. I didn't delete them. Though I wanted to.

Deleting unflattering pictures does not take away the fact that I look that way. Avoiding the mirror changes nothing. Just because I don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. So now I am forcing myself to look in the mirror and really look at myself at least once a day. I'm trying to find something positive, but that's not working too well for me. I'm too focused on the negative, but the negative reminds me what I need to do.

Biggest Loser - The Finale

The end of the season has come and gone and the results are in. And I must say, wow they were shocking.

Jerry the at home winner. A 60something year old grandfather lost a total of 177 pounds. That is amazing on one hand and on the other hand, is it really a healthy thing for him to have lost that much weight that fast. Yes I know he was home for six months, but in the grand scheme of things, six months is not that long. Experts say that a person should lose an average of 1-3 pounds a week for safe and maintainable weight loss. That would be no more than 72 pounds in a six month time frame and this man lost on average seven to ten pounds a week. That cannot be healthy. I know you're thinking that they lose 7-15 pounds a week on average at the ranch right. That is true. However, their week is actually more like 10 days and their diet and exercise programs are constantly watched over by trainers, doctors and dietitians. There are people on staff trained to make sure the contestants maintain good health while getting fit. Also they work out 6+ hours a day every day. What the hell was Jerry doing at home to drop that much weight that fast? It for sure is not something that an average person with a life, job, kids, etc. can do. Lastly, he didn't seem quite "right" to me. I discussed it with a co-worker yesterday and we both felt something was wrong with him. He didn't actually ever really speak real words and mostly just stood there looking confused.

Helen - Another older person won the grand prize. She lost a grand total of 140ish pounds weighing in at 114 pounds now. She started out at 250something. (I'm too lazy to check exact numbers, sorry). For someone that needed to lose that much weight, that is awesome. However, at 114 pounds I think the woman looks sick and unhealthy. That is not a healthy weight for her body frame. I cannot remember how much she left the ranch weighting but she lost a lot at home after the show and fast. Again this is not normal or obtainable for a person with an average life. I do not think she will be able to maintain that weight for very long and should not. I would say she needs to add maybe 10-15 pounds to look healthy.

Tara on the other hand looked AWESOME. She looked like she should look. Just the right weight for her frame. She glowed whereas Helen looked gaunt. Mike looked great too. Most everyone did really.

I think the show had two goals this season. 1. to show that "it" could be done at home and 2. to show that age is not really as big of a factor that most people believe it to be. Did they achieve those goals? Yeah I think so. The people that were at home longer lost weight. They did not do it as fast and did not lose as much as the ones on the ranch but that is the way it really works. People living their lives will lose slower because there are hundreds of outside factors that come into play everyday. Some did not do very well at all in my opinion. Namely 1/2 of the orange team and 1/2 of the silver team. But that shows that you really have to want it to get it. They from the beginning put in half assed effort and got half assed results. Hopefully they will keep trying, but without the lull of money to drive them, I doubt it.

They did show that age can be overcome with enough determination too. Overboard with some of the older contestants, yes, but they got their point across. You can exercise and lose weight at any age.

All in all, good season. I enjoyed some of the drama, like Bob's big explosion at Joelle. Of course some of it was too much but it wouldn't be "reality TV" without it. I love the charity aspect of the Pound for Pound Challenge. I would like to see some new trainer blood and I would like to see more actual at home stuff showing how contestants at home do it. I want to see how to fit in time around work and kids to eat healthy and work out every day and afford it too. I want to see how they do it, not just be told it can be done. Just about anything "can be done." But telling me it can isn't telling me how.

I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, 3 cats, a husband, a full time job and do consulting work on the side. I barely make it to the gym 2 times a week and groceries are expensive as hell and the healthier you get, the more it costs so somebody, show me how.

That is all for now. Must go get ready for another day at work. Much to do, much to do.

I am so stupid it hurts.

We made it to the gym again on Thursday for the 2nd time this week. We're on the right road to getting back in the habit of going. I was not feeling up for too much cardio so I only did 15 minutes on the treadmill. After that I wen to the Ladies Fitness area and did one full circuit of weights and cardio. I upped the weights to a challenging level and giggled at the ladies in there gossiping. Overall I felt better when I left than I did when I got there. I accomplished something.

Working out sometimes does something to my hormone balance. In a bad way. Usually by the time I get home I am usually on the edge of good mood or bad mood and it usually is teetering on the bad mood side. I cannot help it but I am learning to control it. If I am careful, I can most of the time keep it from turning into full on psychopathic anger but it takes the cooperation of everyone in the house. Namely don't bombard me when I walk in the door, don't mouth off to me and give me some space until it levels out. It doesn't take long for me to become human again.

Thursday when we got home we were both tired as hell and my mood was heading more towards bad than good and I was struggling to control it. Stephanie was cooking dinner and we were starving. I'm not sure how it happened, but the decision was made that nobody wanted what she was cooking and it was taking too long, even though it was almost done. So after 10 minutes of back and forth about it, I chunked some money at Zerolove and pretty much said do whatever you want, if you want pizza go get pizza, just feed me I'm hungry and then leave me alone.

Well, Zerolove is never one to turn down a pizza so that's what he went and got. And cheese bread. And buffalo kickers. And we sat down and ate, between the 5 of us and 2 dogs, 2 large pizzas, bread, and kickers. We did not even think about it while we were eating, we just ate. When we were done we looked at each other and said "well that was stupid."

Friday morning we both got up sore from the great work out and bloated and nasty feeling from the so so pizza. We discussed it on the way to work and admitted that we failed each other on that decision. There was no reason for us to eat out, especially pizza and we did it, because we could.

Biggest Loser 5/5/09

Finally I am trying to get back into the rhythm of going to the gym on a regular basis. It seems like every time I try to plan on going, life gets in the way. Sunday I left the hubby and the kids to finish up the weekly housework and went and met my friend Jen at the gym. I had a great time working out with her. Having someone to chat with while on the treadmill make it so much less tedious to do. I did not even realize how much time had passed until she said something about it. After the treadmill we did some weights in the Lady?s Fitness area. I really like doing weights in there so much better than out on the main floor. I always feel like people are staring at me and laughing when I?m on the main floor.

Zerolove and I made it to the gym again last night on the way home from work. We both considered making excuses not to go, but knew they were just that, excuses, so we went. This time we went our separate ways. We were there together, but not together while we were there. It was good. I got in a pretty decent workout and I think he did too.

Biggest Loser: Let me just say WOW. Bravo to all 4 contestants for doing the marathon. I knew Tara, Helen and Mike would make it across the finish line, and frankly knew that Tara would finish first. But for Ron to have walked that entire way was just amazing. He showed some strength and determination that I had not seen from him all season. Mike held out and made it even though he could not run, I hope he gives himself credit for his accomplishment. Not many people can walk 26 miles. I will admit that I got a little emotional with each contestant that crossed that finish line. It touched me how many people were there to support them and provide encouragement. It touches me to see how many friends and families show up when the contestants go home for a visit. With that much love and support, how could you possibly fail? Then again, at the same time, that much attention has got to be a huge stress factor. All those people watching your every move, every morsel of food. That has GOT to be hard.

I am trying to build up a support system. You need that support system in order to suceed. You need someone there to call bullshit on your excuses to skip the gym. Some one to give you that "look" when you're about to eat something unhealthy. Someone to hold your hand as you go along, or to just walk beside you so you are not alone. Someone to help you up when you fall and tell you it's okay, do better tomorrow. It is a rough road to travel and nearly impossible to do alone. I have a hard time asking for help. I have a hard time accepting help.

It's History, not Racism

I am furious over this.

Auburn, Alabama City Counselman Arthur Dowdell went to a local cemetery and began removing Confederate flags from graves of Confederate soldiers that had been put there by the Daughter's of the Confederacy in honor of Confederate Memorial Day. He was personally offended and said that

“It’s offensive to me,” “To me, it represents the Ku Klux Klan and racism.”

I might could see his point if it were white sheets and burning crosses. But it wasn't. In his assault on private property he broke one of the flags. When questioned about this action he said:

“It might have snapped itself.” “If it did, so what? If I had my way, I would have broke them all up and stomped on them and burned them. That flag represents another country, another nation.”

WTF right. The flag snapped itself in half?

I do not know about anywhere else, but in Alabama, cemetery plots are actually sold deeded land. The land belongs to the family of the person buried there or whoever purchased the plot, thereby making it private property. I think that Mr. Dowdell should have been arrested for distruction of property, anyone else would have been. If anyone else had done the same thing to a black historical icon they would have also been charged with Federal hate crimes. The reaction of the mayor of Auburn:

Auburn Mayor Bill Ham Jr. and other council members said Friday they each have heard from citizens about the incident, but there is nothing they can do as a council to censure Dowdell for his actions.

Ham said citizens even asked him about the possibility of arresting Dowdell.

The only repercussions may be a misdemeanor charge if a report is filed with the Auburn Police Division. Assistant Chief Tommy Dawson said he knew of no such report as of Friday evening.

WTF right.

In response to learning that the flags are placed on the graves a week prior to Confederate Memorial Day and had been for the last 50 years, Mr. Dowdell said:

“I’m not going to tolerate it,” “They can have one day like everybody else. They can do
it for Sunday. That is their right, but don’t infringe on my rights for a whole week.”

Sorry? What is February? An entire month of celebrating black people, black heritage, black history. Banks, post offices, US Government and State agencies all close down for a day to celebrate an abusive alcoholic black man. For Confederate Memorial Day, state courts were closed. I know of no other closings.

Dowdell expressed no surprise at the reactions of the rest of the council.

“The council has disagreed with me before,” he said. “But I’m the only black man on the city council, why would they agree with me? They’re all white. They don’t understand.”

He seems to think that being black allows him special privilages to do whatever he wants to. He knows there will be no reprecussions from his actions because he is black. It's all being excused away. He calls flags in honor of fallen soldiers and family members, racism and hate. I call HIS actions more racist and hateful than anything the Daughters of the Confederacy have done.

But wait, this is Alabama, racism is only one sided right? Only whites are racist against blacks. It doesn't go both ways.

People need to read further into their history books. Look at books other than those presented in the classrooms. Find real live witness accounts. The Civil War and thus the founding of the Confederacy was not JUST about slavery. The Civil War was about many things, including State rights, something that the current administration wants to take away from us again. It was more about the right for individual states to make decisions for themselves, on many issues including slavery, instead of letting the US government make all the decisions.

Is it wrong for people to fight for what they believe in? Blacks were NOT the only slaves in this country. There were white slaves, Indian slaves, Chinese slaves. Slavery was NOT only prelevent in the South. Believing in the Confederacy and what it stood for does NOT make a person a racist. Honoring fallen soldiers who stood for what they believed in and a place they loved does not make a person racist.

Blacks fought for the Confederacy also, many willingly. Mr. Dowdell's disregard for the soldiers that were buried in those plots disregards the many black soldiers that fought for and died for the Confederacy as well.

The Confederate flag and Confederate Memorial Day are not about hate. They are not about racism. They are not about pining for the old ways. They are about remembering and honoring those that fought and died for something they believed in. They are about honoring our heritage, our history, as a State, as the South and yes, even as a Nation. The Civil War and the Confederacy are a part of our history as a Nation and should be remembered by the Nation so that it does not happen again. So that our Nation is not torn apart by differences of opinion and rights being stomped on.

Everything in the South, in Alabama is not about color of peoples' skin. It's not about race. And when it is about race, it's not usually the whites making it so. For instance read about the fight over a soccer field in Hueytown.

Here is the City of Auburn's official Statement about the flag incident.

The past is gone. Let it go. There are no slaves, there are no slave masters. There is no Union nor Confederacy. Live for today and make changes for tomorrow.

Then again, I guess this goes back to my post Right Wing Racist Bible-Thumping Extremist. I believe in the foundation of the Country and the Constitution so I must be racist and upset because we have a 1/2 black president.

Build a bridge and get over it.