It is a common misconception that fat people, particularly women, are unhappy. If we were happy we wouldn't be fat right? Wrong.
I will say that I have not led a overall happy life. And yes, that is probably what led me to being overweight. But, right now, even at the weight and size that I am, I am overall very happy. If I had to say one thing that I am unhappy about in my life I would say it's my weight but at the same time, it doesn't really drag down my life, it doesn't effect it overly much.
I have a wonderful, loving, kind husband of 10 years. I have 3 beautiful, smart, active, fun daughters, 2 dogs, 2 cats my own home, a car that gets me from point A to point B. I have a full filling, if not overly stressful at times, job that I've been at for 4 years. I work with people that I honestly care about as human beings. I have family that loves me. I'm a little lax in the friends department but that's my own fault, I don't put myself out there to make friends.
I mostly don't eat when I'm sad or depressed. I do eat out of boredom but not sadness. I eat when I'm happy and considering my current weight, I must be blissfully happy! LOL
It's very hard to concentrate on getting rid of the one thing that makes me unhappy when I'm overflowing so much with things that make me happy. Why would I concentrate on the negitive? But at the same time, if something is making me unhappy, shouldn't I do something about that?
What a fucked up circle huh.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Little League Sports
It's that time of year again in my house.....Cheer Leading! Duh duh Dummmmmmmm. My two little girls love cheer leading for our local little league park. Every year I say not again, but then a year later, there I sit on the sidelines. You're likely to see a lot of blogs in the near future regarding this wonderful past time. You have been warned.
Today I'm going to cover the cost of said sport. I have 2 daughters that cheer, age 9. Here's a run down of what it costs Zerolove and I each year for their enjoyment.
Registration - $55.00 for the first child, $45.00 for the second. (Discount for registering early)
Top - $30.00 x2
Skirt $30.00 x 2
Bloomers - $10.00 x1 (had pair that still fit from last year)
Socks $5.00 x2
Hair bows $5.00 x2
Pompoms $30.00 x2
Here we are at $310.00 just to get them suited up to go on the field. Last year I did better, I didn't have to buy new uniforms, but well, kids grow. This cost will also be repeated next year as the park is changing the uniform style all together.
We opted to not participate in "cheer camp" this year, that was $25.00 per kid and came with a pair of shorts & t-shirt. We also opted to not just buy the outfit. We didn't think they really needed it. However, our first game is this Saturday and all our uniforms are not in yet, so everyone is wearing their cheer camp outfits. Being we didn't go, we have to buy the outfit. The park gave the girls the shirts as thanks for some work Zerolove and I did building the website, but I still have to go purchase some shorts to match. Another $10.00. (Total $320.00).
Next each cheer leader is expected to raise a certain amount of funds for the park each year. If you chose not to participate in the fundraising, then you have to pay that amount. It also covers their trophies and a "extra" item for the end of the year. Last year my girls got really cute warm up suits and t-shirts. If you opt to pay instead of fundraising, that's $45.00 per child. Since I don't do fundraising, that adds another $90.00 to my bill. (Total $410.00) Now I will say, I turned over the girls' old uniforms for consignment and they were sold so I was able to get a credit for $45.00 towards our fundraising goal.
Each child is expected to have a parent work concession stand, usually 2 or 3 times throughout the year. If you don't, you pay $30.00. We always work so I won't count this fee.
Admission into the games are $3.00 per person. Since I have 3 adults that go to watch the games, that's $9.00 per game x lets just say 12 games, $108.00. (Total $518.00) I won't even include the gas to go to the away games, that's just an insane thought.
Of course we must have pictures of our little darlings cheering, we always buy the cheapest package, $11.00 each x 3, we get a single shot of each and then one of them together. (Total $551.00)
I'm sure there will be small amounts of money asked for other things, flowers at homecoming, donations for coach gift, I have to buy white tennis shoes, etc. So we might as well add another $100.00 to that. We'll also add $150.00 for gas to and from practice 3 nights a week and to games and that's being overly generous considering gas prices these days. And eating....we'll go a head and add another $150.00 for eating at the ball park or eating on the way to and from games and practices.
This brings our grand total for 1 season of cheerleading for 2 children to.....$951.00. More than my house payment a month. Wow. Why do I keep letting them do this? Oh right....because they LOVE it and I like making my kids happy.
Today I'm going to cover the cost of said sport. I have 2 daughters that cheer, age 9. Here's a run down of what it costs Zerolove and I each year for their enjoyment.
Registration - $55.00 for the first child, $45.00 for the second. (Discount for registering early)
Top - $30.00 x2
Skirt $30.00 x 2
Bloomers - $10.00 x1 (had pair that still fit from last year)
Socks $5.00 x2
Hair bows $5.00 x2
Pompoms $30.00 x2
Here we are at $310.00 just to get them suited up to go on the field. Last year I did better, I didn't have to buy new uniforms, but well, kids grow. This cost will also be repeated next year as the park is changing the uniform style all together.
We opted to not participate in "cheer camp" this year, that was $25.00 per kid and came with a pair of shorts & t-shirt. We also opted to not just buy the outfit. We didn't think they really needed it. However, our first game is this Saturday and all our uniforms are not in yet, so everyone is wearing their cheer camp outfits. Being we didn't go, we have to buy the outfit. The park gave the girls the shirts as thanks for some work Zerolove and I did building the website, but I still have to go purchase some shorts to match. Another $10.00. (Total $320.00).
Next each cheer leader is expected to raise a certain amount of funds for the park each year. If you chose not to participate in the fundraising, then you have to pay that amount. It also covers their trophies and a "extra" item for the end of the year. Last year my girls got really cute warm up suits and t-shirts. If you opt to pay instead of fundraising, that's $45.00 per child. Since I don't do fundraising, that adds another $90.00 to my bill. (Total $410.00) Now I will say, I turned over the girls' old uniforms for consignment and they were sold so I was able to get a credit for $45.00 towards our fundraising goal.
Each child is expected to have a parent work concession stand, usually 2 or 3 times throughout the year. If you don't, you pay $30.00. We always work so I won't count this fee.
Admission into the games are $3.00 per person. Since I have 3 adults that go to watch the games, that's $9.00 per game x lets just say 12 games, $108.00. (Total $518.00) I won't even include the gas to go to the away games, that's just an insane thought.
Of course we must have pictures of our little darlings cheering, we always buy the cheapest package, $11.00 each x 3, we get a single shot of each and then one of them together. (Total $551.00)
I'm sure there will be small amounts of money asked for other things, flowers at homecoming, donations for coach gift, I have to buy white tennis shoes, etc. So we might as well add another $100.00 to that. We'll also add $150.00 for gas to and from practice 3 nights a week and to games and that's being overly generous considering gas prices these days. And eating....we'll go a head and add another $150.00 for eating at the ball park or eating on the way to and from games and practices.
This brings our grand total for 1 season of cheerleading for 2 children to.....$951.00. More than my house payment a month. Wow. Why do I keep letting them do this? Oh right....because they LOVE it and I like making my kids happy.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Another Year Beginning
School starts today for my 3 girls. It's exciting and yet sad for me at the same time.
My 9 year olds are starting fourth grade. It seems like just yesterday that I was bringing them home from the hospital, teaching them to walk, teaching them to talk, to read, their ABCs, you get the point. They are so excited, you would think it's Christmas Eve for them. They went to bed at 7:00 last night and yet were still awake at 10:00. At 5:30 they were wide awake and ready to get going. I'm glad they like school so much, it really is a blessing and I realize that. Where did the time go between the first day of kindergarten and today?
They're also in different classes this year. They were in different classes in first grade and it was a huge hassle and they did not do very well so I've had them put together since then. This year they weren't overly concerned with whether they were together or separate so I let the principle make the decision and he choose to separate them. They're not overly clingy together but they are more comfortable that way. And mostly more of a convenience for me. We'll see how it works.
Also, my oldest baby, 17, is starting her senior year of high school. I can't believe that my baby is a senior. Because of my age, I can remember so well the beginning of my senior year. Of course, when I started that year, I had a six month old baby and really no interest in high school anymore. She on the other hand loves school and I am so grateful. She's going to have fun and do amazing things with her life. She's so focused and determined.
School saddens me because I just prefer my babies at home. Even though I'm not home every day with them, I feel better when they are at least home. I don't have to worry about them as much when they're at home. But, as with all other things, life goes on and things change.
They must grow up and I must let them. I don't have to like it, I just have to let them do it.
My 9 year olds are starting fourth grade. It seems like just yesterday that I was bringing them home from the hospital, teaching them to walk, teaching them to talk, to read, their ABCs, you get the point. They are so excited, you would think it's Christmas Eve for them. They went to bed at 7:00 last night and yet were still awake at 10:00. At 5:30 they were wide awake and ready to get going. I'm glad they like school so much, it really is a blessing and I realize that. Where did the time go between the first day of kindergarten and today?
They're also in different classes this year. They were in different classes in first grade and it was a huge hassle and they did not do very well so I've had them put together since then. This year they weren't overly concerned with whether they were together or separate so I let the principle make the decision and he choose to separate them. They're not overly clingy together but they are more comfortable that way. And mostly more of a convenience for me. We'll see how it works.
Also, my oldest baby, 17, is starting her senior year of high school. I can't believe that my baby is a senior. Because of my age, I can remember so well the beginning of my senior year. Of course, when I started that year, I had a six month old baby and really no interest in high school anymore. She on the other hand loves school and I am so grateful. She's going to have fun and do amazing things with her life. She's so focused and determined.
School saddens me because I just prefer my babies at home. Even though I'm not home every day with them, I feel better when they are at least home. I don't have to worry about them as much when they're at home. But, as with all other things, life goes on and things change.
They must grow up and I must let them. I don't have to like it, I just have to let them do it.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Sleep
When I was younger I could stay up and party till 2 am and then get up at 6 am and work all day, then do it again. I never had a problem staying awake during the day or anything. And this was in the not so distant past before before the popularity of energy drinks.
Now however, I feel like I can never get enough sleep. I go to bed at 10:30, get up at 5:45 and I am exhausted most all day long. It has finally gotten to the point that I sought out medical intervention. I went for a sleep study and learned some very interesting things about the importance of sleep.
First of all, I stopped breathing over 100 times in an hour. Yeah that's not good, I'm surprised I'm alive at that rate. I wake up several times a night, not all the way, just enough to come out of REM, I toss and turn and have vivid dreams.
Lack of good sleep can cause decreased short term memory, figityness, obviously exhaustion, heart disease, obesity, RLS and tons of other illnesses that people do not usually associate with sleep.
I have a CPAP machine now and my doc says that within about a week I should feel 100% better. That and he put me on iron, I'm apparently anemic too. I hope he's right because I'm desperate for some rest. I am done being tired all the time. I even stopped working out because I was just too tired to do it. And of course, sleep apnea can be caused by being overweight, but that is a horrid circle there. You're overweight, you get sleep apnea, you get sleep apnea you overindulge in carbs to give yourself the energy to get through the day, you are too tired to workout, you get fatter, your sleep apnea gets worse. Hopefully now I can break this cycle and start doing MORE.
Sleep is IMPORTANT.
Now however, I feel like I can never get enough sleep. I go to bed at 10:30, get up at 5:45 and I am exhausted most all day long. It has finally gotten to the point that I sought out medical intervention. I went for a sleep study and learned some very interesting things about the importance of sleep.
First of all, I stopped breathing over 100 times in an hour. Yeah that's not good, I'm surprised I'm alive at that rate. I wake up several times a night, not all the way, just enough to come out of REM, I toss and turn and have vivid dreams.
Lack of good sleep can cause decreased short term memory, figityness, obviously exhaustion, heart disease, obesity, RLS and tons of other illnesses that people do not usually associate with sleep.
I have a CPAP machine now and my doc says that within about a week I should feel 100% better. That and he put me on iron, I'm apparently anemic too. I hope he's right because I'm desperate for some rest. I am done being tired all the time. I even stopped working out because I was just too tired to do it. And of course, sleep apnea can be caused by being overweight, but that is a horrid circle there. You're overweight, you get sleep apnea, you get sleep apnea you overindulge in carbs to give yourself the energy to get through the day, you are too tired to workout, you get fatter, your sleep apnea gets worse. Hopefully now I can break this cycle and start doing MORE.
Sleep is IMPORTANT.
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