Confessions of a Teenage Mother IV

My daughter was born at 4:35 p.m. She weighed in at 7 pounds 11 3/4 ounces and 21 inches long. She had very little hair but was beautiful. Once my mother took her to the nursery, I didn't get to see her until almost 9:00 that night. I was furious, I just wanted to see her. But the nurses were bathing her, getting her cleaned up and checked out by the doctor.

The moment she was brought into the room and laid in my arms, my life changed forever. How cliche' right? Maybe so, but it is true. I had given birth to that beautiful baby and it was finally real, there was a real human being in my arms that belonged to me, only to me. This was what I had been waiting my whole life for. I felt that if I died right then, my destiny would have been completed, I gave birth to this child. She was going to be an amazing person some day, hell she already was.


My family and friends were all in the room waiting to see her so everyone got a turn to coo and goggle over her and hold her. After they all left and it was just me, the baby and my mother, I just held her and stared at her for the longest time. I scared the nurses to death though. I did not want her taken to the nursery and I was too sore that night to get up and put her back in the cradle so I just held her. I propped up on some pillows, laid her on my chest and the two of us slept. It turned out that that was how we slept the whole time we were in the hospital. It seemed right. I never have been much for what I'm "supposed" to do, I do what feels right to me. And holding that baby, breathing her baby air and giving my whole heart to her, felt just right.

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. There is a time and a place for everything. Very few people know this but before I got pregnant I was miserable with my life and suicidal. I had planned on how to do it, thought and thought and thought about it. I did not have anything that made me happy and felt like nobody would really miss me if I were gone. At the moment in this picture, I had something to live for. Someone who needed me and someone who would care if I were gone. Having that baby, at 16 years old, saved my life. She became my life.